Sharing moments with you.

I sit in the bathroom today remembering how I cried some nights to sleep because we couldn't have you yet. Your daddy didn't know how to help me. How to reassure me that one day would be the right time.

Because our life was dictated by something other than our own free will.
I wanted you. I wanted you so badly.
I need you to know that I did. I prayed for you. I asked for you. And now that I have you I feel so overwhelmed.  So excited and afraid at the same time. But oh how in love with you am I. You are my son. My second man of my heart.

Your tiny fingers and toes. Those little kicks that remind me that you really are there. . .  and that I really haven't been eating THAT many tacos.

This belly is beautiful. And I don't just say that lightly. No. I mean it. I love it more than anything.  I can't say I have ever felt this way about myself. But I'm definitely in love with the visible signs that you are growing. Even If that love is more emotional than anything.

There are parts of pregnancy that are not so beautiful. And as a boy you will not know or appreciate them until your wife is having your own little one. But i want to let you know that your words will mean everything during that season. She needs to hear sweetness from you every day and she will need your help for the Littlest of things.
It will be challenging at times.
But son.
Be there for her. Remind her that she is beautiful. That her changing form is a sacrifice and it is the most amazing gift she can give you and your unborn baby. She will need to hear these things weekly sometimes more. She will feel like you don't want to see her naked. She will doubt your affections. Not because you are faltering but because she doesn't feel sexy. She feels like a human submarine. And to a degree. That is what we are.

She needs help putting socks on at a point. And even help with her pants. She won't be able to get up from the floor if she manages to sit down there. She will wish she could shave and paint her toes. Always offer to help. Remember this is not easy or normal for her. She doesn't realize that she can't do them. Carry the groceries. And if she starts having Braxton hicks just sit quietly with her holding her hand until they go away. Even if she squeezes your hand till it hurts and you can't feel your fingers.

As your mom I want to pass down these things to you. Ways to make your wife feel affection.  In fact I am already praying for a strong relationship for you two and for a strong friendship between her and me. I know giving you to another woman will be harder than I can imagine. I want to keep you for always. I want to forget that another girl will hold your hand and kiss you. Even sleep with you.  But i cant. Because to forget those things is foolish. You deserve the very best. All my love and all of my letting go. I will do my very very best as your mother. I promise you that.